People who go to the Gym at 5 A.M.

We all take ourselves too seriously. I prefer willing myself into a state of delusion for comedic effect.

I went to the gym today. For the first time in probably two months. I used to go every single day at the same time. But when I went this morning all the attractive women weren't there! I asked my buddy who had been going much more consistently than I have what happened. He said they kinda stopped going. About two months ago.

So naturally my reaction was: "So you are telling me I stopped going to the gym and then allllll the good looking girls just stopped going, eh?" I said this with a pretty big grin on my face.

Anywho, there used to people I knew, the regulars at that time.

Obsessive compulsive slob (the guy who does the exact same unwavering routine everyday...in the exact same clothes)

Overly intense Redhead (the hot girl whose legs are so muscular they look like they could break a high school lunch tray in half...and I'm not complaining)

Woo guy (the guy who yells to psych himself up)

Weird looking intense girl (the girl who rolls out of bed and works out in her pajamas)

Overly cosmetic gay guy (the guy who has no functional strength but looks really strong in the smallest tank top he can find at Baby Gap)

Self-conscious cute girl (the girl that does her make-up before coming into the gym to squat against the wall for a couple minutes and then leave)

Really really really really ridiculously good at the jump-rope girl (seriously, she does like hand-stands and stuff at breakneck speeds, I just sit and watch when she is there and I don't care if anyone thinks it is creepy, its spectacular how good she is....and I'm not complaining)

The Look-a-likes (a guy who looks eerily like Mike Krzyzewski and either works out with his sister or dates a girl that looks entirely too much like himself)

The inappropriate stretching girl (a girl who stretches in ridiculously provocative poses on a stability ball just a little too close to people and happens to be in their lines of sight....and I'm not complaining)

aaand Finally...

The You'll-think I'm making this up Guy (no kidding, this is a 6'1" 230-pound [no muscle] 54-year-old white guy probably livung in his mother's basement. He has a Jew-Fro, wire-rim glasses, 80's style short shorts aaaaand a belly shirt.....that comes off.....completely off, while running on the treadmill......with so much sweat flying off the fro that the three treadmills on either side become vacant...you are welcome for that image......and yes, I am complaining)