Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Single Point of Failure

There is a rule in information technology, but I think it is actually re-inventing a reinvention of a wheel. The rule is never to have a single point of failure. It's an incredibly useful rule for technological systems. It's not exactly about having backups for failures, it's about deriving information from different sources so that, if there is a failure, there isn't a catastrophic event that threatens the life of the system.

This rule is derived from information technology, but it really came from human life and history. They just reinvented the wheel. Now I'm reinventing the reinvention by placing it back in the hands of humanity. At any point in a person's life, there should never be a single psychological point of failure. Yet too often, we try to make this a rule in our lives. We try to derive self-worth from one source: a passion, another person, a calling, etc. It even works with a spread of friends. If all of your friends bring out the same side of you, then what is the point? I have a wide breadth of friends who bring out different sides of me and it is the first time I've had that for a long time. I forgot what it was like to hang out with different people, have different experiences and see different sides of myself.

I'm still searching for myself. This used to be a source of annoyance. I revel in it now. I've done things in the past year that I would have scoffed at if you had told me about it only 6 months ago. The biggest reason I have is because of the friends I've made in that span, and because I don't have a single point of failure for my own psyche anymore.

Sunday, August 29, 2010

Things Change

Valedictorian speaks out against Education in Graduation Speech



YouTube Video of the Speech



I want to meet this girl. Not only is she speaking the unabashed truth, she had the courage to do so in one of the most influential yet controversial positions. The country is formed based on outdated ideals. It shows through the educational and governmental systems, because they are the bedrock of the society. Both schools and government take forever to change things within themselves.

The government supposed to be a representative of the people, yet its composition does not come close to resembling the populace. The government itself does not have anyone remotely young among its ranks. How are the "young" supposed to represent their interests, much less races and gender? I thought the country was founded on fighting the tyranny of not being represented in the body of governance creating the laws that govern them. Yet the cross-section of people in the government creating the laws is not even close to resembling the population. History repeats itself, eh?

This is relevant to the educational system because the needs of education change rapidly, yet the laws and the educational system are formed by people several generations removed from the current environment. It isn't the same world now as it was 10 years ago, much less 30 or 40. Yet the pace of change within the two most fundamental parts of society take so long to change that there are still blue laws that serve no purpose from 150 years ago on the books. An extreme example, but it stands to show that if the extreme exists, imagine what else does.

The schooling system is still based on creating model employees for an industrial society. That time is long past, yet we still continue to train people for a world gone by the wayside. How do you expect people to succeed in their lives when they are taught to succeed in a world that doesn't exist anymore?

Thursday, August 26, 2010

That's Right, I Wear Necklaces

I have two Celtic Knot necklaces that never leave my body. They are there all day, all night, all evening, all morning. I shower with them on. I sleep with them on. I have no idea whether it is a phase or not, I haven't been wearing them for that long. One of them is about ten years old and just recently found after a decently long period of being lost. The other is brand new. I'm actually thinking of getting a third for a specific reason, but that might be a little bit past overkill.

The reason I wear them is because I love Celtic Knots. They ground me in a way. They are finite expressions of infinity. They are the snakes eating their own tails.

The new knot is a cross symbolizing well being and life without complications. It has no beginning and no end, kinda like Finnegan's Wake. And Celtic history and James Joyce are together the closest things that make me almost proud of being Irish. I still can't be proud of something I achieved through accident of birth though. It weaves over and through itself, symbolizing a balance of internal and external influence in life.

The old one is spiritual rebirth. It is two fish intertwined. The two salmon represent wisdom and knowledge. Salmon are the keepers of all knowledge. Which is why it was the first one I ever owned; fitting for someone whose identity is so wrapped in intelligence to be holding the keeper of all knowledge at his chest.

I've never even considered getting a tattoo in my life. I'm much too fickle and could never conceive of something I would want on my skin now and 10 years from now. Celtic Knots are the first objects that are making me seriously consider getting ink.

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Just Don't Kill Anyone

Everything in this world is a sliding scale between two poles. The poles don't actually exist, they are always guideposts for describing people and the further along the scale a person is toward one pole or another is how radical or passionate they are about that particular issue. It's like a calculus convergence and divergence. Always approaching ever closer to zero or infinity without ever reaching it.

External and Internal Morality are two of these poles. They are often confused with religious and non-religious as well.

Personally, I have never understood people who let others tell them what to do; whether it be another human being, an idea of God, an idea of morality that did not come from within, a governmental body, a religion, etc.

I think the main difference between a religious person and a non-religious person is this idea of external morality. I think it is also why so many religious people say that non-religious people have no morality. That's not it, it just isn't like their own.

My whole life philosophy is to have the most fun while I'm here, regardless of anything outside killing someone or hurting someone unnecessarily. Some would say that's immoral, but there are many ways in which I do not find it acceptable to harm someone for my own happiness. Sounds like a moral compass to me, it is just my own. I don't have any delusions that my own morality is better than someone else's and that they should follow mine.

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Permanent Loss

I am in mourning. You'll think it is stupid, but I don't care. You'd think I'd learn from my past. It wasn't the first time I'd been so stupid. I cried. It was stupid. It was unique. It was ultimate.

When I was in college 6 years ago, I was reading Oscar Wilde and I brought it out to BC to visit my friend Dan. We drank heavily that night and needed something to mix with vodka, so I went and bought a cheap gallon of orange juice. The morning after I took it with me and threw it in my bag so as not to waste it. It popped open and poured a half gallon of orange juice out over everything in my bag. Oscar Wilde was ruined. I never even got a replacement until someone bought me one six months ago after I told them the story. I never thought I'd do the same thing again six months later with something much more dear to me than Oscar Wilde.

I write. When I say that, I mean it in two ways. I write for a living and I also hand write everything. I type what I write in my notebook afterward. In the last week, I wrote two amazing scenes for my novel. They were dramatic and poignant and riveting. I had not had the chance to transpose them into my computer yet. My friends and I planned an excursion last Saturday and alcohol was involved so I put a bottle of Jameson whiskey in my bag. It leaked last night and destroyed my notebook. It is soaked entirely through and half of each page is a blue ball of blurred nothingness. I lost the two scenes.

It is unique because it is ultimately gone: the words I wrote, the language I weaved, the scene I created. They are gone and never to be duplicated or retrieved. It is like the death of a human being. I have never had a child and I have never created something such as this that I have loved like a child. Its death hit me sideways. I will write the scenes over again. The content will be the same. My memory is good enough that it will hold the spirit of the scenes I already wrote. But it will not be the same. The problem with this is that I almost feel like it is a perversion of the memory of the words that were destroyed by breathing new life into a replacement.

Monday, August 23, 2010

Fortune Cookies

Apart from my frustration with U.S. Chinese food and the fact that I can't find a good Mandarin Chinese Dish anywhere: I still love fortune cookies. I don't even eat them, I just crack the cookie open and throw it away. Screw the lucky numbers too, they don't even mean anything. But the fortune inside is the prize. It's like a 50/50 shot that the assortment and sequence of seemingly English words inside actually make sense at all, metaphorically or literally. Which is funny in and of itself, but of the 50% that actually do make linguistic sense there are 10% that are amazingly meaningful because they are insightful, funny and make sense both metaphorically and literally.

Consider the last fortune I opened and proceeded to affix to the dashboard of my car:

Constant grinding can turn an iron rod into a needle.

Fortunes don't get much better than that.

Friday, August 20, 2010

People and Places

There are 2 types of people in this world: Those who think there are two types of people in this world and those of us who know better.

I generally like to be on the latter end of this Tom Robbins quote. But someone told me this week that there are two types of people in this world: club people and non-club people. I actually happen to agree with it, but I take it one step further.

There are two types of people in this world: people who go somewhere for the people and people who go somewhere for the place.

What I mean by this is simple: I am someone who doesn't give a damn where I am as long as I am with someone whose company I enjoy. I could be sitting in a dumpster on the side of the road and have plenty of fun if I am with someone that interests me.

There is another type of person though. These people need to be somewhere interesting. It doesn't matter who they are with.

So I guess there are two types of people in this world after all.

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Cattle and Linguistic Holes

Who in the world ever thought that the linguistic world of the domesticated ungulate Bos Primigenius would be so damn absurd?

Cattle: it's the overarching species term for everything. Cow is a female version of cattle. Bull is a male version of cattle. It should be that simple.

But just you wait.

What is the singular version of the word cattle? There isn't one. so we use......cow.

Q: But wait, isn't that the word for the female?
A: Yeah, we just thought we would confuse native speakers of English with our ridiculous colloquialisms.

Ok, as if that wasn't confusing enough. Look there is a "cow" with horns on its head! That would mean its a bull! Oh wait, gotta check for the testicles before you say that. If its been castrated, it's a steer.

If they are younger cattle then they would be called calves. And the powers that be even thought this one through...at least enough...to have singular calf! But if there is only one male calf, it would still be technically correct for my 3-year old nephew Aaron to point at it and say: "look, a cow!"

But wait, there's more, if a female hasn't given birth to any cattle calves (what I wouldn't give to see a cow give birth to a steer...) AND she is under three years of age, she's not a cow--she's a heifer.

It gets even better.

Q: A heifer who gives birth to a calf is now a cow, right?
A: nah, sometimes they call that a first-calf heifer.

This is ridiculous and makes no linguistic sense. So after all of this, what in the world is an OX??

Frankly, I think we should just call them all "Steak."

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Almost a Rap

I want to write.
I love to write.
Just give me a topic
Or a page that's white.

The words will dance
And weave with sin.
Leave a tapestry of black
On its iv'ry laden skin.

The rising action falls
With unequivocal aplomb.
The climax hits your eyeballs
Like a freak atomic bomb.

The story comes together
In a way you've never seen.
Guns flashing from leather
As if Clint Eastwood's on the scene.

Last word slides across
Your retinas' tides.
Knockin' you crosswise
As your legs capsize.

Words ne'er put together before,
Each a brick in a bridge
Laid timeless 'cross a ridge
Connectin' my mind to yours.

Sunday, August 15, 2010

My Own Little Movies

The human brain works in weird ways. Especially when it comes to dreaming. There are so many weird options, it's like a natural movie in your head that involves every single person you have met in your life. It involves memories you may not even remember.

It involves motor skills and things you have never learned. I've been skiing in a dream and I can't ski.

It involves random people you haven't thought about in years. In the past two weeks, I've dreamed about two people that I haven't talked to or thought about in over 7 years and 9 years respectively. Makes me wonder what random person I met 4 years ago might have had a dream that I starred in last night.

It lets you relive great experiences. It lets you live out fantasies that you will never approach in reality. I flew outside the atmosphere in a dream and I don't mean in an airplane or a spaceship. I looked at the Earth from so far away it looked like a pea, and then flew back down to it. That one happened to be lucid, which is another issue that is amazing about dreams.

Dreams are like breathing. They work on their own, completely autonomously, except when all of a sudden, you figure out you are dreaming and think "I'm taking the reins now" It's like starring in the movie and then deciding you want to be director and producer as well.

Saturday, August 14, 2010

Smell My Music

Music and smell have an odd common thread. They seem directly linked to memory. Nothing else brings out a seemingly buried memory quite like a distinctive smell or a certain chord.

Smells can bring out memories like almost nothing else. The smell of a country. The smell of a house. The smell of a piece of clothing. The very tinge of something familiar can bring back memories so old that they are not even conscious. The only thing that comes close to smell is the specific note and chord progression of a song. That is, if the song is infused with meaning from a distinctly memorable event.

So how long does it take for a song to stop reminding you of a lost love? I can tell you from experience that 10 years isn't long enough and I have an inkling the actual answer is never. I have a hunch that whether it is tomorrow or 20 years from now, every time I hear the opening guitar riff of "Bent" by Matchbox 20, I will be thrown back to being 16 years old and lying in the sand with Mary.

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Blame it on my Blasphemy

Why is defiling a church so much fun? What is it about the pious that makes them so entertaining to screw with?

I count successes by the amount of times I hear, "Oh, that's terrible" from a random person I don't know. I used to and still have a natural feeling of not wanting to look stupid, but I learned a long time ago that me looking stupid means other people get to laugh.

It's terrible how much fun piety prevents people from having. You should never have anything in your life that can't be joked about. If I had a mantra, that would be it. I'm not saying it is easy, there are things that human beings are embarrassed about. There are things humans are afraid of. There are things human beings are ashamed of.

Here's a secret if you didn't already know it: laughter takes the power out of serious. When you can laugh about something, it just doesn't seem so crucial anymore. Laughter is the mixture of light and dark; the only place where good and bad mix. If there is something that deserves to be called god, it would be seen through laughter.

So when I see a church, with a bunch of people who think it is critical to life to take your hat off inside, (or some other illogical sign of respect that has nothing to do with respect) I choose to have fun and go buy a sombrero. Or jump in the pulpit. Or feel up a statue.

Don't take life too seriously, you'll never get out of it alive.

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Hypocrisy

One of the biggest themes in my life is hypocrisy and how human it is. I don't consider it bad, even though most people do. Hypocrisy to me is ultimately ironic and doesn't have anything to do with conscious choice. The event that has produced this line of thought lately is the seeming contradiction of my nature regarding germs and sickness.

I am the absolute opposite of a germaphobe. I have absolutely no qualms about getting dirty, being around germs, eating undercooked meat, etc. I was like this before I traveled around Asia, but I will admit that broke down a few barriers I didn't even know I had when it comes to dealing with germs. I find almost nothing disgusting.

The irony of this is that I am a raging hypochondriac. I start reading about some kind of disease, and I automatically start having every single symptom. I even start remembering having some of the symptoms before I read it.

"Holy crap, my left arm hurt slightly last week and I had a headache last month, I think I have Japanese Encephalitis B!" Absolutely ridiculous, but that's the way my brain has been programmed to work.

Ironically, and perhaps hypocritically, it never connects the two. I have never been exposed to germs because of my carelessness about being exposed to them and then had an attack of hypochondria as a direct result of it. Seems weird.

Saturday, August 7, 2010

Go Defy Death

Regrets are as pointless as mistakenly believing you have free will.

They both assume that there is an alternative to the one timeline that there is. Time is linear. It isn't circular. It isn't parallel. Time travel is impossible since time doesn't exist. Since there is only one way something could have happened, choice is irrelevant and there is no point in regretting anything. There is only one way it possibly could happen anyway; the way it does.

For that matter, there is no fate or destiny. Get over yourself and go make things happen, just don't believe there might have been any alternative to what happens.

Does it sound impossible for me to believe at the same time that there is no destiny and also no free will? Chalk it up to: Paradox.

Carpe Diem, Baby. Death doesn't make life pointless, it gives it its only point.

Go defy death today.

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Moderation Sucks

Everything in Moderation. Great minds of the past have preached this without ceasing.

"Whatever you do, do it in moderation" ~Proverb
"Never go to excess, but let moderation be your guide." ~Cicero
"Moderation is commonly firm, and firmness is commonly successful." ~Samuel Johnson
"Temperance and labor are the two best physicians of man; labor sharpens the appetite, and temperance prevents from indulging to excess." ~Jean-Jacques Rousseau
"Moderation is the center wherein all philosophies, both human and divine, meet" ~Benjamin Disraeli

In my mind, these "great" minds have completely missed the point and successfully proven that they are in fact, only good minds.

I prefer to listen to the likes of Oscar Wilde and others like him:

"Moderation is a fatal thing. Nothing succeeds like excess." ~Oscar Wilde
"Moderation is a virtue only in those who are thought to have an alternative" ~Henry Kissinger
"Moderation has been called a virtue to limit the ambition of great men, and to console undistinguished people for their want of fortune and lack of merit." ~Benjamin Disraeli

Seems that Benjamin Disraeli might have a great mind after all. Hypocrisy is the most human of all traits.

Moderation is terrible. Hedonism is awesome.

Monday, August 2, 2010

C'mon Baby, Light My Fire

I like debates. I like watching the fire in someone's eyes when they are attempting to prove me wrong and convince me of something I don't agree with. Call me weird, but I love it when a really high-tension topic like abortion rights comes up in mixed company. I like to see people fired up and under pressure. It's interesting. Light a fire under people and see what boils.

For this reason, I love talking about politics. Politics have a few unique qualities that make for interesting conversation on the topic.

First off, politics at their roots are supposed to forge policy for the way constituents live their lives within the country's borders. Second, politics rarely have anything to do with our daily lives. Third, the people talking about politics usually have no understanding, influence, or say in the matter themselves. (don't kid yourself, voting doesn't matter in a republic and we don't live in a democracy) Fourth, it is one of those topics that can start a fight among the most "civilized" of people.

I miss China, but one thing that I happen not to miss is the complete apathy toward anything having to do with politics. The best Chinese friend I have became so because he liked to talk about politics. The reason this is weird is because, and I can't imagine why, but in broaching the topic with Chinese people, the answer is inevitably the same: politics are boring. I get that the propaganda machine made it that way, but it is still quite a divergence from my norm.