What are You Doing with the Television?!

I pretend I don't like watching TV. I have for a long time. It has become completely second nature to me at this point. So second nature, that I think I forgot why I originally started telling myself the lie.

I can accept it. I like watching television. But the lie serves a purpose too. It keeps me from doing too much of something I like to do, but that can become obsessive. It keeps me from forsaking other things that I may find less comfortable, but ultimately lead to new experiences.

Most everything on Television is pretty stupid. But sometimes its not all that bad to have something that helps you shut your brain off for a little while. I just can't say it isn't tempting to leave the television on and your brain shut off when you should be turning the television off and your brain back on. So I'll keep on telling myself the slightly uncomfortable lie: I hate watching television. If only to keep myself from leaving my brain in the off position.

Living in Shadows

We all live in shadows. The shadows of others. Everything we do is motivated by others and their opinions of us. We are social creatures; it is a necessary by-product. Our choices are ultimately decided by the amalgam of events that have happened in our lives and the confluence of the force of each one. The approval/disapproval of others is paramount in these events. Each decision in our lives is made in the shadow of the people in whom we place importance.

Some people live in their father's shadow.
Some people live in their mother's shadow.
Some people live in the shadows of their friends.
Some people live in the shadows of their enemies.
Some people live in the shadow of themselves.

Every decision we make is unconsciously made in the shadow of someone else. We all live in shadows.

Drink your Coffee Black

Coffee is meant to be black. If you need to put milk and sugar into coffee to be able to drink it, then why are you drinking it? There are plenty of ways to get caffeine into your bloodstream outside of coffee. I'm not even getting into the caramel, quadshot, half-foam, skim, skinny macchiato frappucino with whipped cream, almonds, hot fudge, and a cherry on top. I mean regular coffee with milk and sugar.

Why don't people put other taste altering things into other drinks to make them palatable? Just because liking coffee can be fashionable? What if it was cool to like orange juice and you didn't like the taste of oranges? Could we make it normal to put maple syrup and ice cream in it?

Coffee is meant to be acidic and bitter. Just like alcohol is meant to burn. But instead we have frappucinos and schnapps.

Elephant Tipping

Would elephant tipping be more fun than cow tipping?

I once tried to test this theory, but I happened to find a kangaroo farm instead. So I jumped on one of their backs to try and ride one, but it didn't seem too appreciative, so it threw me off. I was disappointed, but I figured it was a sign that people shouldn't ride kangaroos. I saw the light. That is when I formed CAKR: The Coalition against Kangaroo Riding. It was going very well at first. The pipe bombs we strategically placed at the banks funding the majority of people attempting to ride kangaroos exploded without incident injuring few and killing none. But the cherry bombs we placed in the toilets of the head offices of the zoos housing kangaroos against their will misfired and our fingerprints were found all over them. We were forced to go underground until we actually gathered enough information on internal affairs of the local police to trade for immunity.

On the way to testify against the crooked cops in exchange for my freedom, the muffler of the car I was riding in fell off. The car following us ran over it and popped their front tire, forcing it to spin out of control and slam into the guardrail. The drivers thought about stopping but decided against it and roared on to the courthouse. To make a long story short, I testified without a hitch and the crooked cops were put in jail.

As I walked out of the courthouse, it started to rain. I didn't have an umbrella so I ducked into a coffee shop and took one of the umbrellas sitting inside the front door. I walked along in dry happiness for a while, when I was suddenly accosted by 3 large men in trench coats that introduced themselves as friends of the police officers my testimony incarcerated. I threw the umbrella at them but they just caught it in midair and kept on advancing. I backpedaled a few paces when I bumped into a massive man and his friend. He grabbed me by the shoulders as I looked backward and saw the other men still advancing on me. The man holding me looked in my eyes with fury and asked me if I had seen his umbrella. I nervously pulled my head backward in indication for him to look behind me. He saw his umbrella in the hands of the man advancing upon us and his eyes widened in anger. He dropped me and advanced to meet the friends of the crooked cops. I ran as fast as I could while the men proceeded to fight over the umbrella I stole and the cops I testified against.

As I was running away in the rain and getting completely soaked without an umbrella, a car stopped and graciously offered me a ride. It happened to be an executive's town car and as he was putting a towel down on the seat for me to sit on, I spied his open briefcase next to him, which happened to have some files about kangaroos in it. In speaking to him, I came to find out that he was the head of a company that was attempting to displace the majority of the kangaroos in the world in order to capitalize on a complicated real estate scheme. I punched him in the face and stole his briefcase. I resurrected CAKR and used the documents to bring down the evil corporation. I achieved enough fame to save the kangaroos and attempt all the elephant tipping I wanted. Too bad when i got the chance, it didn't work. They sleep lying down. I guess I could have averted this whole thing if I had just googled elephants.

Free Writing Spontaneous Nonsense is Fun.

Motion Sickness

I wish I could write while driving. I seem to have so many good ideas when I'm cruising around with the windows down, music blaring, and singing loudly and off-key. I come up with great ideas to write about, to think about, to talk about, to read about. But then I reach my destination and I get out of the car and, for the life of me, have no clue what the hell I just thought about. It's frustrating to say the least.

Supposition

Suppose I never met you.
Suppose I never walked your way.
Suppose I never met the friend that introduced me to you.

Suppose that I chose a different city.
Suppose that I chose a different school.
Suppose that I took a different job.

Suppose I never called.
Suppose I said your name that day instead of someone else's.
Suppose I said someone else's name that day instead of yours.

Suppose I wasn't born.
Suppose you weren't born.

Suppose I didn't ask for your number.
Suppose I never said hello.
Suppose I was busy that day.
Suppose I was too drunk to remember.

Suppose I kept on walking by you.
Suppose I turned and never saw you.
Suppose I went to the park instead of to the beach.
Suppose I fell in love a week before I saw you.

Suppose you never answered.
Suppose I never questioned.

Suppose I fell in love.
Suppose I met you.
Suppose I will.
Suppose I have.

Trade-offs

People who take chances to achieve something they want are always vilified by people who don't have the strength to do so themselves. It isn't something conscious, it is just a gut reaction to something that is different than what they are used to. The thing about this is that alternative lifestyles make people living "conventional" lives (most often, from your own point of view, whatever you yourself do is conventional) jealous.

This jealousy seems to come about through the misconception that these people aren't giving up anything to live the way they do. But there are trade-offs to everything, even if they aren't readily apparent. It is the classic perception bias where you don't ascribe as much value to what you already have as you do to what you could have. People don't think that giving up a 9 to 5 job is something worth value, and personally, I think they're right, but that kind of job gives other fringe benefits that are not to be treated lightly. Whereas, the person who does not have that stability has many more freedoms. It is all in what you value more and what you are willing to sacrifice. The harder part is trying to see what other people are sacrificing to live the way they want to.

A New Muse Fan

For a long time now, the rock band Muse has irked me. I neither loved nor hated them. There was just something about them that I couldn't listen to. I think part of it was also the fact that they were often said to be a descendant of my favorite band, Queen. The funny thing is, lately, I actually like Muse and it is completely because I figured out exactly what it was that irked me about them. They have a hard sound to their music, but their lead singer's voice is soft. It is as simple as that, I didn't like the discord of the techno music to the falsetto-ish voice of the lead singer. The funny thing is, since I found out that was the reason, it stopped irking me. Imagine that, I'm a Muse fan.

Short Term Memory

If there was a poll of 100 people that asked the question: Which is more dangerous? Nuclear Weapons or the prevailing sentiment that every single human life is sacred. I don't think the results would be surprising. I have no idea which actually is more dangerous, but I at least think that it is a much closer race than most.

I think it is generally accepted that weapons are more dangerous simply because they are immediate. They are active. Whereas, the danger that comes from the belief that life is sacred is much more subtle. It is passive. It takes much longer to feel the effects. It is also more ambiguous as to its result. But I do think that overpopulation is just as much a threat as massively destructive weapons. And more insidious, seeing as how you can't exactly march with placards that say "Let some human beings die!" as easily as you can with one that says "Choose life, stop the bombs."

I like attempting to deny my baser instincts and think about things long-term. It is much too easy to think only about the short-term. It just makes me wonder.
At what point does the quality of life of the human species outweigh the survival of a human individual?

Lavatory Genius

How does a person's thought process develop as they decide to write something crude on the wall of a public bathroom? Do they first decide "Hey, I should write something for people to read while pissing!" and then go about developing a superb witticism such as "I ♥ smelling fart" to fulfill their aforementioned dream?

Or is it possible that a stroke of inspiration leaps down as though Zeus himself attached the idea to one of his thunderbolts before hurling it down at them and decide the unerring witticism must be immortalized? Then do they discern that the best possible format for the brilliant aphorism is on the wall of the local lavatory?

Bending the Brain

The existence of infinity causes drug use.

My theory: The duel between finite and infinite causes the human fascination with drugs. The human brain is finite and can only perceive and understand finite things. Our thoughts and reasoning are dwarfed by anything infinite. It is quite literally beyond our brain's true comprehension. But the knowledge of its existence causes a splinter in our thoughts. We strive to see what is impossible for us to see. This paradox is at the core of why human beings are drawn to tools that change the way our body chemistry and our brain function.

Human beings are obsessed with mind alteration. Somehow, someway, people will find a way to change the way they think based on the fact that they can only see through one perspective, and therefore, crave another. This craving has led to many things in this world, but I think the biggest effect it has had is creating humanity's obsession with drugs. Everyone I've met who doesn't use drugs (and that includes alcohol and caffeine) has always had some other "drug" to make up for it. Sex, love, religion, etc.

I'm not here to pass judgment on whether drugs are good or bad. Drugs, like guns, aren't the inherent problem, but all in how you use them and who is using them. My fascination lies more in the fascination they cause humanity.

Woodstock

Clearly there is a little hippie in me. No matter how much a part of me wants to deny it. There was something epic to me about driving down to Woodstock without tickets of any kind to the Mountain Jam Concert. After getting caught twice trying to sneak into it, we decided to hike up around a lake and straight up a vertical rock face and around three ski lifts only to find a fence barring our path in anyway.

Luckily, we were sitting on a hill with a view of the stage. We sat with a couple who had found the same place and listened to Alison Krauss & Michael Franti play their sets. We sat amid a stereotypical setting of windblown grass and buttercups on the side of a mountain surrounded by higher peaks all around with the music echoing from all sides. It was beautiful.

Word Swords

"A picture is worth a thousand words;"
but pictures never change.
The picture's meaning fades
Like rust on a thousand swords.
Words have much longer range
and infinitely sharper blades.

Polite Society

Why is it considered rude to say what is on our minds? I'm not saying that it isn't going to offend someone to hear the unadulterated truth of someone else's thoughts. What I am wondering is why it is considered poor manners.

There was a 14-year old soccer player standing outside of Wal-Mart asking me if I wanted to give her money to help her and her team go to Europe. I reacted unthinkingly and said the honest truth that came into my head.

"Not really"

Apparently, this was rude enough for my friend to comment on its insensitivity and for her to comment to her friend about how appalling it was that I would say such a thing.

Was I supposed to say "no, thanks"? I'm supposedly thanking this girl for giving me the opportunity to pay for her trip to Europe? Personally, I'm not sure what the difference is between the two answers. They are both "no".

I am not opposed to giving. But this was not my friend asking me. It wasn't for a worthy cause, or even offering something in return. I would have respected the request much more had they been doing a car wash or a bake sale or something in order to raise money. But they were just soliciting charity. I don't quite understand why it is rude of me to say "No" to this. Especially because if I went up to someone on the street that I had never met before and asked them for a donation to pay for my rent, I would expect no courtesy in their reply.

The Sweet Science

Boxing is one of my favorite sports. It is a study in contradictions.

It is sweetly scientific while being gracefully artistic.
It is subtle and nuanced while straight-forward and bludgeoning.
It is civilized and structured while brutal and primal.
It is cerebral and physical.
It is a perfect mix of intelligence and force.
It is the perfect combination of mind and body and, if you like, soul.
It is the lowest and most basic form of competition, but exalts its competitors to the height of humanity for the moment they fight in the ring.

The fighters achieve the pinnacle of glory and heart and show what humanity can fight through, for nothing other than pride. (There are easier ways to get money and fame than getting punched, in my humble opinion)

Watch a speed fighter who holds the championship belt get in the ring with a power puncher and suddenly slip in the ring and wrench his knee apart. He has lost the fight, and his belt. It is over, there is no return, he cannot move quick enough to win the match.

But he gets up. And he continues to fight. He goes toe to toe with his opponent because he has no other option. He is outclassed in this fighting method, to say the least, but he does not give up. He fights three rounds after the initial slip before he is knocked out for good. He embodies the soul of the sport.

Fighting against impossible odds for the sheer glory and pride of his own body and mind.

Yin and Yang

Balance might be the single most used, aspired to, important, inspirational, vilified, and aspired to word of my life. There must be balance. There must be a middle ground. There must be a grey area.

To that point, it is the hardest thing to achieve. The extremes are so easy. It is so easy to fly off the handle, to go wavering from one extreme to the other and back again. It is so easy to be either black or white and forget the grey. You can see it in pretty much every facet of our society as well as in our people. Democrat and Republican is the easiest way to see it, but that's just scratching the surface.

It's either right or wrong.
God or Devil.
Ugly or Attractive.
Night or Day.
Salt or Pepper.
Chocolate or Vanilla.
Religion or Logic.
Pro or Con.
Give or Take.
Hunter or Hunted.
Lost or Found.
Red Sox or Yankees.
Redneck or Yuppie.
Free or Enslaved.
Interesting or Moral.
Gay or Straight.
Coffee or Tea.
Light or Dark.
Life or Death.
Destruction or Creation.


Pick your side or Straddle the fence.

Pain

Pain is but an illusion
To be overcome by the mind.