By day, mild mannered Craig.
By night, Super Craig
With the following powers that allow me to hypothetically fight crime and create enormous amounts of collateral damage to the city I dwell in with no fear of accountability thanks to my alter-ego!
1. I can run at speeds in excess of 10 mph when induced to do so by a lion chasing me.
2. I can see in the dark in portions of the world where there are lights on at that moment.
3. I can make a menagerie of facial expressions with absolutely no conscious effort.
4. I can halt any free-flowing conversation in one sentence.
5. I can leap 3 small stacks of dimes in a single bound.
6. I can fly downward through the air for up to 3 seconds depending on the height of the building I am jumping off of.
7. I can make anyone in the room feel uncomfortable and offended.
8. I can write so spectacularly well that James Joyce would be jealous.
9. I can convert certain organic matter into pure electrical energy.
10. I can travel forward through time into the future at the exact rate of time passing.
11. I can read in such a way that no noise can penetrate the force field of my attention.
12. I can speak in a volume unfathomable to the average person at my normal speaking volume.
13. I can take any guaranteed situation and make the outcome variable.
14. I can move objects with my mind and only one syllogistic step in between.
15. I can do things that mystify normal people and defy any explanation.
16. I am omnipotent since I actually accept that I know nothing and therefore is nothing to know so that knowing nothing would mean knowing everything.
17. I can make any argument correct through the use of circular logic.
18. I can read an entire book without having a desire to watch television instead.
19. I can teleport my body through any matter that is either a combination of two oxygen molecules or a combination of two hydrogen molecules bound with one oxygen.
20. I can travel backward through time in the form of memories.
Beat that.
Friday, October 22, 2010
Monday, October 18, 2010
Individuals & People
I love individuals.
I hate people.
There is a fundamental difference between groups of people and an individual person. People lose their individuality in groups. If you are unwilling to conform to a group mentality, groups exclude you. That's actually the point of groups in the first place; to exclude people who don't see things the same way they do. Otherwise, it wouldn't be a group. People within groups just naturally start to sacrifice their individuality to be part of the group. The longer they are enmeshed inside the group, the more individuality they will give up in order to stay a member of that group.
I love meeting people. I love learning about the individual intricacies of personalities. I hate getting to know people who are parts of groups. Basically, I already know everything I need to know about them because I can interpret what the group is all about before I ever say two words to the person enmeshed in the group.
Long story short; I wish there were more individuals and less groups in this world.
I hate people.
There is a fundamental difference between groups of people and an individual person. People lose their individuality in groups. If you are unwilling to conform to a group mentality, groups exclude you. That's actually the point of groups in the first place; to exclude people who don't see things the same way they do. Otherwise, it wouldn't be a group. People within groups just naturally start to sacrifice their individuality to be part of the group. The longer they are enmeshed inside the group, the more individuality they will give up in order to stay a member of that group.
I love meeting people. I love learning about the individual intricacies of personalities. I hate getting to know people who are parts of groups. Basically, I already know everything I need to know about them because I can interpret what the group is all about before I ever say two words to the person enmeshed in the group.
Long story short; I wish there were more individuals and less groups in this world.
Saturday, October 16, 2010
100 Innings of Baseball
I've been taking a break from writing recently. I like these breaks. It makes me feel slightly unproductive in what I consider my career, but that is how it goes sometimes. Every once in a while I feel like the well needs to be refreshed with a sort of fasting. I wish there was some kind of ritual sacrifice (human or animal, either would be fine) that would speed up the process of re-fueling the engine and re-stoking the creative fire that drives the writing process of my brain and fingers. Too bad, but there isn't. So instead, I go out and live instead of write.
I played 100 innings of baseball with three other friends. I was insanely rusty from having exclusively umpired for the past 8 years. A sobering experience to say the least, since I am used to being one of the best players on the field. Slightly embarrassed, which is odd for me since I don't feel that particular emotion very much. But all in all, I loved playing in it. Not only for spending the time with three friends, one of whom I very rarely see anymore, but also for some indispensable moments. One of which concerns my old boss for umpiring who has ALS, the disease that the game is raising funds to fight. It also deals with my old umpiring partner who basically taught me how to take my umpiring skills to the next level, Alberto.
Two years ago, Alberto came in to pitch ion the 100 innings game, which is significant since he was a minor league pitcher before he blew out his rotator cuff. When he came in to pitch, I took the umpiring position behind home plate in a surprise move. We had fun with it, but this time was immeasurably better. My boss used to umpire himself and used to do an immense amount of innings in the 100 inning game, but as his disease has progressed, his time in the game has been reduced every year until he can only do one half-inning at midnight.
This particular year, he came in to umpire as Alberto was pitching and it was only fitting that I would be the third batter to face him. And only fitting that Walter would call strike two after only one pitch. I'll never forget that at bat.
I played 100 innings of baseball with three other friends. I was insanely rusty from having exclusively umpired for the past 8 years. A sobering experience to say the least, since I am used to being one of the best players on the field. Slightly embarrassed, which is odd for me since I don't feel that particular emotion very much. But all in all, I loved playing in it. Not only for spending the time with three friends, one of whom I very rarely see anymore, but also for some indispensable moments. One of which concerns my old boss for umpiring who has ALS, the disease that the game is raising funds to fight. It also deals with my old umpiring partner who basically taught me how to take my umpiring skills to the next level, Alberto.
Two years ago, Alberto came in to pitch ion the 100 innings game, which is significant since he was a minor league pitcher before he blew out his rotator cuff. When he came in to pitch, I took the umpiring position behind home plate in a surprise move. We had fun with it, but this time was immeasurably better. My boss used to umpire himself and used to do an immense amount of innings in the 100 inning game, but as his disease has progressed, his time in the game has been reduced every year until he can only do one half-inning at midnight.
This particular year, he came in to umpire as Alberto was pitching and it was only fitting that I would be the third batter to face him. And only fitting that Walter would call strike two after only one pitch. I'll never forget that at bat.
Monday, October 11, 2010
Memoria - Opening
pages 1,2 and 3 of my book:
Balance is precarious. The fate of the world is to bounce between extremes. Everything in this world is a sliding scale between two polar opposite forces that do not actually exist. Balance is the only idea that is between the poles and is a pole itself. Balance is balanced by its opposing force: Chaos.
Chaos is intertwining with everything. Chaos ensues when two poles in this world rages against each other in a never-ending battle. Balance is a cease-fire being declared, but chaos is always the drop of a hat away. No polar extreme can exist without trying to prove itself superior to its counterpart.
Best & Worst
Wisdom & Foolishness
Belief & Incredulity
Light & Darkness
Hope & Despair
Everything & Nothing
Heaven & Hell
Good & Evil
Memory & Moment
Chaos & Balance
Logic & Emotion
There is a never ending war between polar opposites that rages on to sway the hearts and minds of human beings. Whether you like it or not, you are a member of an army for one of the two sides. Language is the tool that human beings use to wage these wars. It is the bomb, the spear, the gun, the knife, the sword, and the shield. You are dependent on language and it is dependent on you.
You are never alone. No matter where you go in this world or any other, true solitude is simply impossible. Sit in the middle of the forest. Walk in the middle of the desert. Stand on the peak of a mountain. Life teems all around you. There isn't any escape from energy. This destroys independence. Human beings are dependent upon interaction and dependent upon language for interaction. Humans thirst for interaction. They crave it. They are made vulnerable by it. They are made weak for it. Hermits are fools. It is not even possible to achieve isolation.
Animals surround you in the forest. Cacti sprout from the desert basin. Birds fly around the mountaintop. Energy flows in its never-ending cycle; never created and never destroyed. Natural energy is only the tip of the iceberg. Anywhere you stand, there are man-made forces swirling around you: radio waves, microwaves, x-rays, wireless network waves, cell phone waves, satellite waves, brain waves. The last are the most disruptive of all. They span the greatest distance, even span time, and one cannot escape them. The more you try and escape, the further down you sink in the depths of your own quicksand. Your thoughts entangle and enrapture you until they envelop and encompass you. From the depth of your consciousness to the latest firing neuron, one word exists that simultaneously gives meaning to life and strips life of any meaning whatsoever: Memory.
Memory is inherently chaotic. The smallest trigger can spur the most involved memory. Yet no memory can ever do justice to the moment. Every memory is false. The details are never exact and often major points of the situation are exaggerated or falsified to subconsciously appease the ego. The human race seeks to control nature, human behavior, technology and matter itself while control of their own brain eludes them; a collective overcompensation complex that sweeps through the entire species and it stems from chaos and memory. Human beings cannot control their own thought processes and are deathly afraid of the implications of that fact. As a result, they find comfort in the illusion of stability and react violently to those rare people who embrace both sides of creation and destruction.
All things in nature are breaking down and people like me exist solely to give it a nudge. Ambassadors of Anarchy. Emissarial Envoys of Entropy. Cataclysmic Connoisseurs. Panderers of Pandemonium. Harbingers of Havoc. Bedfellows of Bedlam. Demagogues of Disarray. Turnkeys of Tumultuous Turmoil. Instruments of Incandescent Impishness. Quintessential Quetzalcoatls of the Quasar. Couriers of Chaos.
Balance is precarious. The fate of the world is to bounce between extremes. Everything in this world is a sliding scale between two polar opposite forces that do not actually exist. Balance is the only idea that is between the poles and is a pole itself. Balance is balanced by its opposing force: Chaos.
Chaos is intertwining with everything. Chaos ensues when two poles in this world rages against each other in a never-ending battle. Balance is a cease-fire being declared, but chaos is always the drop of a hat away. No polar extreme can exist without trying to prove itself superior to its counterpart.
Best & Worst
Wisdom & Foolishness
Belief & Incredulity
Light & Darkness
Hope & Despair
Everything & Nothing
Heaven & Hell
Good & Evil
Memory & Moment
Chaos & Balance
Logic & Emotion
There is a never ending war between polar opposites that rages on to sway the hearts and minds of human beings. Whether you like it or not, you are a member of an army for one of the two sides. Language is the tool that human beings use to wage these wars. It is the bomb, the spear, the gun, the knife, the sword, and the shield. You are dependent on language and it is dependent on you.
You are never alone. No matter where you go in this world or any other, true solitude is simply impossible. Sit in the middle of the forest. Walk in the middle of the desert. Stand on the peak of a mountain. Life teems all around you. There isn't any escape from energy. This destroys independence. Human beings are dependent upon interaction and dependent upon language for interaction. Humans thirst for interaction. They crave it. They are made vulnerable by it. They are made weak for it. Hermits are fools. It is not even possible to achieve isolation.
Animals surround you in the forest. Cacti sprout from the desert basin. Birds fly around the mountaintop. Energy flows in its never-ending cycle; never created and never destroyed. Natural energy is only the tip of the iceberg. Anywhere you stand, there are man-made forces swirling around you: radio waves, microwaves, x-rays, wireless network waves, cell phone waves, satellite waves, brain waves. The last are the most disruptive of all. They span the greatest distance, even span time, and one cannot escape them. The more you try and escape, the further down you sink in the depths of your own quicksand. Your thoughts entangle and enrapture you until they envelop and encompass you. From the depth of your consciousness to the latest firing neuron, one word exists that simultaneously gives meaning to life and strips life of any meaning whatsoever: Memory.
Memory is inherently chaotic. The smallest trigger can spur the most involved memory. Yet no memory can ever do justice to the moment. Every memory is false. The details are never exact and often major points of the situation are exaggerated or falsified to subconsciously appease the ego. The human race seeks to control nature, human behavior, technology and matter itself while control of their own brain eludes them; a collective overcompensation complex that sweeps through the entire species and it stems from chaos and memory. Human beings cannot control their own thought processes and are deathly afraid of the implications of that fact. As a result, they find comfort in the illusion of stability and react violently to those rare people who embrace both sides of creation and destruction.
All things in nature are breaking down and people like me exist solely to give it a nudge. Ambassadors of Anarchy. Emissarial Envoys of Entropy. Cataclysmic Connoisseurs. Panderers of Pandemonium. Harbingers of Havoc. Bedfellows of Bedlam. Demagogues of Disarray. Turnkeys of Tumultuous Turmoil. Instruments of Incandescent Impishness. Quintessential Quetzalcoatls of the Quasar. Couriers of Chaos.
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Snakes Eating Their Own Tails
Balance is a tricky subject. It contains itself in an odd way. If you look at the world in a vacuum and use language to describe it, there exists opposing forces. Binary language only represents something the entire world has already been made of long before it was invented. Everything that can be described is only a sliding scale between two opposing extremes that never exist. It's like infinity, you never reach it, but it exists as a concept to give you some kind of inkling where 100,000 is in relation to other numbers.
Anyway, balance is the most ridiculous pole in this equation. You use the word balance to talk about other polar opposites. The balance between good and evil. The balance between light and dark. The balance between best and worst.
But now you also have to place balance on an axis of its own with its polar opposite being chaos. So now you have to find the balance between balance and chaos: a balance between balance? wrap your mind around that. Its a never ending cycle. Try to get to infinity.
Anyway, balance is the most ridiculous pole in this equation. You use the word balance to talk about other polar opposites. The balance between good and evil. The balance between light and dark. The balance between best and worst.
But now you also have to place balance on an axis of its own with its polar opposite being chaos. So now you have to find the balance between balance and chaos: a balance between balance? wrap your mind around that. Its a never ending cycle. Try to get to infinity.
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Memoria - The Man
Memoria - Page 39
Introduction of The Man
Simple things are funny things. But predictable things are not funny things. Does simple always mean predictable? The world is simple. The world is predictable. The world is funny. The world is insipid. Is that hypocrisy? Is that duality? Still predictable. The sky is still behind the clouds. There is water at the bottom of the ocean. The tides are going to fall. The moon will rise. The earth will turn. Night will come. Waves will crash.
—To see the world in a grain of sand.
The brambly voice cut through The Boy's reverie. Neither shocked nor frightened, The Boy turns to the owner of the voice that resembles glass being crushed by a metal rolling pin. The Boy's cool gaze meets with a pair of eyes cut from glacier ice. The eyes pierce The Boy's normally hard gaze with their own ferocity. There is no malice, but an intensity that could make Santa Clause celebrate Kwanza. Underneath those optomic missiles, lies a wide, boyish grin set within a thick, salt-and-peppered beard that sits flush on cheekbones chiseled with a hacksaw. The wind rifles through the jet black hair that ripples in waves from his forehead to the base of his neck.
The Man moves with deliberate agility and slides down to sit on the red rock next to The Boy. The Man and The Boy sit in utter silence watching the waves crash against the beachhead and the faint silhouette of the sun rise higher behind the cloud cover. The Boy slowly turns to look at the strange man who sits stoically beside him, slightly out of place with his surroundings yet fitting in perfectly.
Introduction of The Man
Simple things are funny things. But predictable things are not funny things. Does simple always mean predictable? The world is simple. The world is predictable. The world is funny. The world is insipid. Is that hypocrisy? Is that duality? Still predictable. The sky is still behind the clouds. There is water at the bottom of the ocean. The tides are going to fall. The moon will rise. The earth will turn. Night will come. Waves will crash.
—To see the world in a grain of sand.
The brambly voice cut through The Boy's reverie. Neither shocked nor frightened, The Boy turns to the owner of the voice that resembles glass being crushed by a metal rolling pin. The Boy's cool gaze meets with a pair of eyes cut from glacier ice. The eyes pierce The Boy's normally hard gaze with their own ferocity. There is no malice, but an intensity that could make Santa Clause celebrate Kwanza. Underneath those optomic missiles, lies a wide, boyish grin set within a thick, salt-and-peppered beard that sits flush on cheekbones chiseled with a hacksaw. The wind rifles through the jet black hair that ripples in waves from his forehead to the base of his neck.
The Man moves with deliberate agility and slides down to sit on the red rock next to The Boy. The Man and The Boy sit in utter silence watching the waves crash against the beachhead and the faint silhouette of the sun rise higher behind the cloud cover. The Boy slowly turns to look at the strange man who sits stoically beside him, slightly out of place with his surroundings yet fitting in perfectly.
Monday, October 4, 2010
Perfectionism
A few random thoughts about perfectionism:
Perfectionism is usually said with a negative connotation. I agree with this sentiment, especially as I woefully consider myself a perfectionist. There are positive aspects to perfectionism though. For one, it makes people strive to improve in every aspect of their life. It lends ambition to you even in areas that you may have plateaued and in which you already excel.
The downside of it is that it can paralyze and blind those who are afflicted by it. Perfectionism can blind you by narrowing your vision so that you are only focused on one thing since you are not perfect. It is very easy to let other things go by the wayside and allow an obsessive attitude occur about one particular thing.
Perfectionism can also paralyze in the sense of dissuading someone from moving forward with their life because they are either afraid to fail or just uncomfortable since they aren't the absolute greatest at one particular aspect of their life.
All in all, perfectionism has some positive aspects, but I have to say that the ramifications of perfectionism are mostly negative.
Perfectionism is usually said with a negative connotation. I agree with this sentiment, especially as I woefully consider myself a perfectionist. There are positive aspects to perfectionism though. For one, it makes people strive to improve in every aspect of their life. It lends ambition to you even in areas that you may have plateaued and in which you already excel.
The downside of it is that it can paralyze and blind those who are afflicted by it. Perfectionism can blind you by narrowing your vision so that you are only focused on one thing since you are not perfect. It is very easy to let other things go by the wayside and allow an obsessive attitude occur about one particular thing.
Perfectionism can also paralyze in the sense of dissuading someone from moving forward with their life because they are either afraid to fail or just uncomfortable since they aren't the absolute greatest at one particular aspect of their life.
All in all, perfectionism has some positive aspects, but I have to say that the ramifications of perfectionism are mostly negative.
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