Feel Bad to Feel Good

"I never choose to count my blessings, instead I choose to dwell on my disasters."

I used to listen to this line and feel slightly depressed because it did describe me. I actually hear it a completely different way now. I don't revel in my past happiness, but it is basically because I inherently don't have to. When I'm happy, that is the benefit and I leave it at that. I'm not going to look back on the happiness I find now with nostalgia. Instead I look back on my failures and see how they define me.

I bought a shirt from Life is Good that reads, "If the World were Perfect, It wouldn't be." I think that this is amazing practical advice. Some of the most poignant and influential experiences in my life have come because I stopped listening to the voice in my head saying that it wouldn't be a good idea. Mistakes make us who we are. I don't define myself by my successes; I define myself by my stupid decisions. Especially when they lead to fun, which they usually do.

Blame it on my Blasphemy

Why is defiling a church so much fun? What is it about the pious that makes them so entertaining to screw with?

I count successes by the amount of times I hear, "Oh, that's terrible" from a random person I don't know. I used to and still have a natural feeling of not wanting to look stupid, but I learned a long time ago that me looking stupid means other people get to laugh.

It's terrible how much fun piety prevents people from having. You should never have anything in your life that can't be joked about. If I had a mantra, that would be it. I'm not saying it is easy, there are things that human beings are embarrassed about. There are things humans are afraid of. There are things human beings are ashamed of.

Here's a secret if you didn't already know it: laughter takes the power out of serious. When you can laugh about something, it just doesn't seem so crucial anymore. Laughter is the mixture of light and dark; the only place where good and bad mix. If there is something that deserves to be called god, it would be seen through laughter.

So when I see a church, with a bunch of people who think it is critical to life to take your hat off inside, (or some other illogical sign of respect that has nothing to do with respect) I choose to have fun and go buy a sombrero. Or jump in the pulpit. Or feel up a statue.

Don't take life too seriously, you'll never get out of it alive.

Eyes are the Window to the Imagination

Clarity is the enemy of imagination.

I have decently poor eyesight. I correct this when I need to by wearing glasses. "Need to" meaning when I'm driving or playing darts. In general, however, I try not to wear them. The reason behind this is simple; it gives my brain something to do. When I can't see very clearly, my brain tries to fill in the missing pieces. This usually leads to something interesting, because my brain usually fills the square hole with a round peg.

It's perfect when I think I see someone I recognize and go up and talk to them. Usually it turns out to be someone whom I've never met and not even close to looking like who I thought it was. But it just led to me meeting someone I've never met before.

It works with signs too. I try and read them from a distance and, more often than not, I think it says something completely outlandish and ridiculous, only to find out that it is mundane and trite as I get close enough to see what it actually says.

Sometimes I like the world of half reality and half imagination that I live in when I can't see everything so clearly. I wish that I could flip back and forth between clarity and fuzzy with my other senses as well.